Normalcy

Normalcy is not for me. I'm just not good at it. I only hope it won't get in the way of the things I hope to accomplish. I don't want to blend in, it just doesn't appeal to me. It's not exactly that I want to be famous, or be stared at or anything like that, I just hate being everyone else. This is not how I've always been, it's something I've grown to realize. I remember when I was younger, I used to try so hard to be just like everyone else. I was never very good at it, and it made it even harder to make friends when I was little. I used to always try to like what my classmates liked and wear what they wore and whatnot, hoping it would make life a little easier. They never bought the act and I was never very good at it. A fantastic liar who can't even pretend to be normal. Anyway, I've at least come to terms with that and learned to not want to be normal, but I still wonder if it messes things up for me. What if that interferes with the life I want for myself?

Basically, right now I'm in school and I feel like I'm starting to fail again because I've been sick for over a week and didn't make it to class for so long. I really hope I can make this up and at least pass my classes. Hopefully I can see a counselor soon and we can talk about what I want and where I'm going and how to get there. I don't know, but I'm worried, I'm nervous, I'm downright scared.